Swinger Lingo
Lost in swinger lingo? No worries! Kat’s spicy swinger glossary will have you swinging like a pro!
A
Aftercare: The tender TLC and cuddles post-passion, because even the wildest nights need a gentle landing. This vital practice of providing emotional and physical support to partners after intense swinging or sexual activities, ensures partners’ well-being and nurturing their bond.
Airtight: When all 3 of a woman’s entrances are filled, leaving no room for doubt – or air! A term used to describe a sexual scenario where all of a person’s orifices are simultaneously filled by different partners, creating a sensation of fullness and intensity.
Alpha Male: The king of the jungle, strutting his stuff with confidence and charisma, leaving hearts racing in his wake. In swinging, this is a dominant, assertive male who exhibits leadership qualities and commands respect within social or sexual dynamics.
Ambidictrous: Kat’s superpower – being sexually ambidextrous! The impressive talent of being able to handle two dicks at once, proving that when it comes to pleasure, two hands are always better than one!
B
Baby swinger: Newbie swingers just dipping their toes into the tantalizing pool of pleasure, eager to explore and learn the ropes of the swinging lifestyle.
Bareback: Riding into pleasure without a saddle – because sometimes, it’s more fun to feel every bump along the way! A term used to describe sexual intercourse without the use of a condom.
BBC/BWC: Abbreviations for “Big Black Cock” and “Big White Cock,” respectively, referring to penis size, commonly used in sexual contexts or adult entertainment because for some, size matters, no matter the shade!
BBW: Big, beautiful, and bold – these curvy queens defy size norms and reign supreme with confidence, sass, and endless allure! An abbreviation for “Big Beautiful Woman,” referring to women who embrace their fuller figure with confidence and allure.
BDSM: Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, and Sadomasochism – where pleasure meets pain in the sexiest game of give and take. This acronym encompasses a broad range of consensual sexual practices and power dynamics that may involve submissives, doms, and dungeons.
Bi / Bisexual: Loving all the flavors on the rainbow, because why limit yourself to just one gender when there’s a whole buffet of options? Short for bisexual, describing individuals who are attracted to people of more than one gender.
Bi-curious: Dipping a toe into the bi pool, exploring the tantalizing possibilities of attraction beyond the binary. These individuals who are questioning or exploring their potential attraction to people of the same gender or multiple genders.
Bionic Cock: The ultimate upgrade—think Iron Man meets the bedroom. A penile implant that keeps the party going, no matter what.
Bi-receptive: Ready and willing to receive love and pleasure from partners of any gender, because chemistry knows no bounds! This individual is open to receiving romantic or sexual attention from partners of any gender, irrespective of one’s own gender identity.
Boundaries: The sexy line in the sand, ensuring everyone’s comfort and pleasure in the wild world of swinging. Personal limits or guidelines set by individuals or couples to define acceptable behavior, activities, or interactions within a relationship or sexual encounter.
Bull: The confident, assertive partner in a cuckold scenario, bringing the heat and taking charge like a pro. A sexually dominant male who engages in sexual activities with the cuckold’s partner, often with the cuckold’s consent or encouragement.
C
Catfishing: The art of deception in the digital dating pool—when someone creates a fake persona to lure you in with sweet words and seductive pics, only to reveal they’re not who they say they are. Proceed with caution, folks—what you see isn’t always what you get!
Certifications: The badges of honor in the kinky world, proving you’ve got the skills to pay the bills – or rather, the thrills! Usually meant in regards to verifications and validations on Swinger apps.
Cialis: The little blue pill that turns your bedroom into a playground, because sometimes, you need a little extra oomph in your romp. This medication is known for its ability to enhance erectile function, offering a helping hand in the pursuit of sexual satisfaction and performance.
Compersion: The ultimate feel-good vibe in the world of non-monogamy, where seeing your partner’s pleasure brings a smile to your face and a flutter to your heart.
Cuckold: The willing observer of his partner’s pleasure, finding ecstasy in the erotic power play of sharing and submission. A person who derives pleasure from watching their partner engage in sexual activities with others, typically experiencing feelings of arousal, submission, or humiliation.
D
DAP: An abbreviation for “double anal penetration,” a sexual activity where a female partner is simultaneously penetrated by two different partners or objects in her anus simultaneously.
Deadpool: Kat & Leo’s cheeky euphemism for DP (double penetration), adding a fun twist to an already daring play. Bring on Ryan Reynolds!
DDF: The golden ticket to the swinging world, declaring “drug and disease free” for worry-free encounters, commonly used on online apps. Not to be confused with DTF (down-to-fuck), which they probably are also.
Dick pics: Unsolicited photographs of male genitalia that make you go, “Thanks, but no thanks!” – because nobody wants a surprise in their inbox. Unless you’re specifically asking for it!
Dirty vanilla: Like vanilla with some sprinkles, because who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too? A playful term referring to individuals who engage in non-traditional sexual practices while maintaining aspects of conventional relationships or lifestyles.
Dominant: The master of the bedroom, calling the shots with confidence and commanding respect – because sometimes, you just gotta take charge! A dom, for short, takes on a controlling or authoritative role in sexual or BDSM dynamics, guiding and directing the actions of their submissive partner(s) with confidence and consent.
Double Barrel: A steamy, two-for-one oral extravaganza where one adventurous woman simultaneously pleasures two men, delivering a double dose of ecstasy.
DP: Double the pleasure, double the fun – because why settle for one when you can have both? An abbreviation for “double penetration,” a sexual activity where a female partner is simultaneously penetrated in both the vagina and the ass by different partners or objects. What Kat & Leo affectionately call Deadpool.
DTF: ‘Down to Fuck,’ a slang term indicating someone’s readiness and willingness to engage in sexual activity.
DVP: An abbreviation for “double vaginal penetration,” a sexual activity where a female partner is simultaneously penetrated by two different partners or objects in her vagina simultaneously, thus stretching her to the brink. Double the pleasure, double the sensation.
E
Eiffel Tower: The iconic pose of pleasure, where two partners high-five over a lucky third, reaching new heights of ecstasy. This sexual position involves 3 participants, where the female partner is penetrated from behind by one M while performing oral sex on another M, resulting in a visual resemblance to the Eiffel Tower.
Ethical Non-Monogamy: The golden rule of the swinging world, where trust, honesty, and communication reign supreme in the pursuit of pleasure. This relationship model is characterized by mutual consent, honesty, and communication, allowing individuals to engage in romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners while prioritizing respect and emotional well-being.
Exhibitionism: Putting on a show that would make Vegas blush, because why keep all that steamy action to yourself? The act of deriving sexual gratification from exposing one’s own body or engaging in sexual activities in front of others, often for the purpose of arousal or thrill.
F
Fake: The faux swingers who talk the talk but can’t walk the walk – because in the world of swinging, authenticity is everything. A term describing individuals who falsely represent themselves or their intentions within the swinging community, often leading to disappointment or frustration among genuine participants. Usually in reference to individuals met via online apps.
FFM: Female-female-male threesome. A steamy ménage à trois where two fabulous femmes and one lucky fella heat things up. Think girl-on-girl action with a side of male attention—an irresistible fantasy come to life!
Flake: The disappearing act that leaves you hanging – because in the game of swinging, consistency is key! A person who fails to follow through on commitments or engagements within the swinging community, often causing inconvenience or disappointment to others involved. Also usually in reference to individuals met via online apps.
Full swap: When consenting adult partners trade places for a night of passion that’s hotter than a summer fling. Couples trade partners and engage in sexual activities, including intercourse. Also referred to as ‘hard swap.’
FWB: An acronym for “Friends with Benefits,” denoting a casual relationship where individuals engage in sexual activities without the commitment of a romantic partnership. The perfect blend of friendship and friskiness, because why limit yourself to just one type of fun?
G
Gangbang: A steamy rendezvous where more is definitely merrier – because sometimes, one-on-one just isn’t enough! This sexual encounter involves one individual (typically female) and multiple male partners engaging in sexual activities simultaneously.
Ghosting: The disappearing act that leaves you wondering, “Was it something I said?” – because in the swinging scene, communication is key! Rather than prod for more, take it as the gentle rejection it is and move on.
Girl on girl: The sizzling spectacle that turns heads and raises temperatures, because who says girls can’t have all the fun? A colloquial expression for female same-sex sexual activities or encounters, often used to describe lesbian or bisexual interactions.
Gloryhole: The mysterious portal of pleasure where anonymity meets ecstasy in the most scandalously satisfying way! A hole, typically in a wall or partition, through which individuals can engage in anonymous sexual activity.
Golden Shower: A steamy act that’s not for the faint of heart—when one partner gets their kicks from the warm, wet flow of urine as a form of erotic play. It’s kinky, it’s daring, and it’s definitely not your average rainstorm!
Group chat/4 way chat: The digital playground where fantasies are shared, plans are made, and sparks fly faster than you can type “send nudes.” This digital communication facilitates simultaneous conversations amongst all partners to avoid any miscommunication.
H
Hall pass: The permission slip for pleasure, granting the freedom to explore desires and granting permission to engage in solo sexual activities with others. Watch out for cheaters masquerading as Hall pass holders!
Heteroflexible: A saucy term for those who usually swing one way but are open to bending the rules for the right playdate! Referring to individuals primarily attracted to the opposite gender but open to occasional same-sex encounters.
Heteronormative: A term describing the societal expectation that heterosexuality is the default or normal sexual orientation. Society’s way of saying ‘straight is the default,’ like it’s the only vanilla flavor on the menu.
Heteroregrettable: The unexpected slip-up when a straight male partner unintentionally crosses into bi territory, leaving him with a moment of confusion and maybe a bit of excitement.
Host: The master of ceremonies, bringing swingers together under one roof for a night of pleasure and passion – because every party needs a fearless leader! An individual or couple responsible for organizing and overseeing swinger events, parties, or gatherings, ensuring the comfort and enjoyment of attendees.
Hotel takeover: The ultimate adult playground, where every room is a stage for seduction and every hallway whispers secrets of desire. An event where a hotel or resort is reserved exclusively for the use of swingers, allowing participants to engage in sexual activities and socialize in a private and secure environment.
Hotwife: The goddess of desire, indulging in extramarital adventures with her partner’s enthusiastic consent – because sharing is caring!
House party: The intimate soirée in a private residence where inhibitions are left at the door and passions run wild, turning living rooms into lairs of lust.
HWP: The gold standard of attraction, declaring “height-weight proportionate” for those who like their partners perfectly balanced.
I
It’s About to Go Down!: Kat and Leo’s signature catchphrase, signaling the start of their steamy escapades. When they say it, you know things are about to get hot and heavy!
K
Kink: The spicy seasoning of the swinging world, adding a dash of danger and a pinch of passion to every encounter. This term describes unconventional sexual preferences, practices, or fantasies that deviate from societal norms.
L
Lifestyle: More than just a hobby – it’s a way of life filled with passion, pleasure, and endless possibilities. The blanket term used to describe the swinging community and its associated practices, beliefs, and values, emphasizing consensual ethical non-monogamous relationships, open communication, and sexual exploration.
M
Meetup: A rendezvous where strangers become friends and friends become lovers, because in the swinging world, every encounter is an opportunity for excitement!
Menage a trois faux pas: Kat & Leo’s signature catchphrase when a threesome encounter makes an inadvertent bi slipup – (oops!) leaving everyone wondering what went wrong in the heat of the moment.
MFM: Two’s company, three’s a crowd – and in this case, that crowd’s getting down and dirty in the steamiest threesome around! An abbreviation for Male-Female-Male, referring to a sexual encounter involving two straight men and one woman, where the woman is the center of attention.
MMF: Not to be confused with MFM, this tantalizing threesome has two guys and one lucky lady turning up the heat and explore every spicy possibility in every possible combination. An abbrevation for Male-Male-Female, where both men are bisexual and engage in sexual activities with each other and the woman.
MMFMM: The ultimate party of pleasure, where four male players come together with one female for a symphony of sensations, leaving no desire unexplored.
Monogamous: The OG relationship style, where love is exclusive and passion is reserved for one – because sometimes, less is more. This relationship dynamic is characterized by exclusivity and commitment between two individuals, where romantic and sexual connections are limited to one partner at a time.
Monogamish: A tantalizing twist on traditional monogamy, where a committed couple dabbles in a bit of playful exploration with others. It’s all about keeping the main relationship spicy while enjoying occasional, consensual fun on the side.
Moresome: When three’s a crowd and four’s a party, why limit your love to just one or two? This term used within the swinging community to describe sexual encounters involving more than three individuals, often implying a group or orgy scenario.
N
Naughtience: Kat & Leo’s cheeky audience craving the juiciest, R-rated naughtiest delights.
New relationship energy: The electric spark in a new romance that’s the sizzle in your step, the sparkle in your eye – when butterflies turn into fireworks and every touch sends shivers down your spine. The exhilarating and intense feeling experienced at the beginning of a sexual relationship, characterized by excitement, passion, and heightened emotional connection.
Newbies: The fresh-faced newcomers to the swinging scene, eager to explore, learn, and dive headfirst into the steamy world of non-monogamy. Individuals or couples who are new to the swinging lifestyle and may be exploring it for the first time, often seeking guidance and information as they navigate this new experience.
No-kissing rule: The boundary that keeps lips locked and emotions in check, ensuring that swinging stays strictly physical and drama-free. A boundary established within some swinging dynamics or encounters, prohibiting kissing to maintain emotional detachment and minimize potential complications.
Non-monogamy: The ultimate freedom of love, where relationships aren’t confined to traditional norms and exploration knows no bounds. An umbrella term encompassing various relationship styles and arrangements that allow individuals to engage in romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners simultaneously, with the consent and knowledge of all parties involved.
O
Open relationship: A relationship model characterized by consensual ethical non-monogamy, where partners are free to engage in sexual, romantic, and emotional relationships with others outside of the primary partnership.
Op sex: Kat & Leo’s coined term -just like op sec (operation security), but in the realm of swinging and sex, ensuring that what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom – no leaks allowed!
Oral sex: The tantalizing tease that gets hearts racing and pulses pounding, because who doesn’t love a little lip service? A sexual activity involving stimulation of the genitals using the mouth, tongue, and lips, often referred to as fellatio (for penis) or cunnilingus (for vulva).
P
Pansexual: Love without limits! Attracted to hearts, not parts—because gender is just a side note when the vibe is right. Think of it as falling for the soul, not the packaging!
Parallel play: Side-by-side seduction for the ultimate tease, because sometimes watching is just as thrilling as doing. Couples engage in sexual activities with their respective partners in close proximity to other couples enjoying each other’s company while maintaining separate interactions.
Performance anxiety: The nerves that come with the territory, turning even the steamiest encounters into a high-pressure performance for the male partner. This psychological pressure or fear of underperforming in sexual situations can lead to feelings of stress, self-doubt, or discomfort, which can impact sexual performance and enjoyment.
Perpendicular play: Like parallel play, but with a twist! These adventurous swingers enjoy exploring new positions and angles, turning every encounter into a thrilling game of sexual geometry.
Pillow princess: The royalty of relaxation, basking in pleasure without lifting a finger because sometimes, being pampered is the ultimate indulgence. A term referring to an individual, typically female, who enjoys receiving sexual pleasure but may not actively reciprocate or participate in sexual activities with their partner.
PIV (Penis in Virginia): Penis in Virginia, like PIV but this time in Virginia – just like the state, it’s dry but ready for some wet and wild fun!
PIV: Penis in vagina – the classic bedroom move that’s as straightforward as it gets – where the magic happens in the most traditional way, without all the frills.
Pizza Oven: Not just for making dough rise! Similar to a gloryhole, but with a twist, this sultry setup reveals a woman’s lower half for anonymous fun. With straps to keep things in place and a cover for discretion, it’s a daring playground for those who crave the thrill of the unknown.
Platonic: The friend zone’s VIP section, where hearts are safe but the chemistry sizzles just below the surface. A type of relationship characterized by friendship and emotional intimacy without romantic or sexual involvement.
Playroom: The adult’s version of a candy store, where toys, tools, and tantalizing treats await – because who says pleasure is just for kids? A designated space within a swinger’s club equipped with various toys, equipment, and furnishings for sexual exploration and enjoyment.
Polyamory / Poly: Love without limits, where relationships bloom like wildflowers and hearts are free to roam. A relationship orientation involving the capacity for or openness to having multiple romantic partners simultaneously, characterized by deep emotional attachments.
R
Reclamation sex: The spicy, reconnecting romp after your partner’s played with someone else. It’s all about reclaiming your territory with passion and intensity. A steamy way to reignite the flames and reaffirm your bond!
Red flag: The warning sign that makes you go, “Hmm, maybe not!” – because in the game of love, trust your instincts. A warning sign or indicator of potential issues or concerns within a relationship or social interaction, prompting further examination or caution.
Regulars: The VIPs of the swinging scene, where every party’s a reunion and every encounter’s a homecoming. Individuals or couples who frequently attend swinger events, parties, or gatherings, often establishing a sense of community and familiarity within the swinging scene.
S
Sex Club: A tantalizing adult playground where your wildest fantasies come to life, from steamy encounters to electrifying dance floors. Unlike swingers clubs, it’s less about swapping and more about exploring your deepest sexual desires with like-minded thrill-seekers, exhibitionists, and voyeurs!
Size queen: The connoisseur of pleasure, seeking satisfaction with a little extra “oomph” – because sometimes, bigger is better! A term referring to an individual, typically female, who expresses a strong preference for sexual partners with a larger than average penis size.
Slutton: Kat & Leo’s signature catchphrase – like a glutton, but for pleasure! This insatiable stag or vixen indulges in all the delights of the bedroom with gusto, savoring every carnal encounter with the voracity of a glutton at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Soft swap: Getting oh-so-close to the edge without taking the full plunge – it’s like foreplay on steroids! A variant of full swap where partners engage in sexual activities with others, excluding intercourse, often focusing on kissing, touching, and other forms of sensual pleasure without penetration.
Solo date: The daring adventure of exploring swinging solo, where one’s desires take center stage and every encounter is an opportunity for self-discovery and indulgence. It is when an individual attends a social engagement without the company of their spouse.
Spaghetti sex: A saucy group romp where multiple bodies tangle together like a messy plate of pasta, creating a steamy, deliciously chaotic mass of pleasure!
Spit roast: A saucy skewer of pleasure, where one lucky partner is sandwiched between two others for a deliciously naughty sausage feast. This sexual activity is where the female partner is penetrated from one end while performing oral sex on another partner, akin to a spit roast cooking method.
Squirting: A wild, splashy explosion of female pleasure, turning the sheets into a thrill-soaked waterslide.
Starfish: When someone lies flat on their back during sex, not moving much – just laying there like a sexy sea creature enjoying the ride without much participation.
Submissive: The willing pupil in the school of pleasure, surrendering control and embracing the thrill of submission to another person within a sexual or BDSM context, often experiencing pleasure through acts of obedience or submission.
Swingers club: The playground of pleasure, where fantasies come to life and every night is a tantalizing adventure. A dedicated venue where individuals or couples within the swinging community gather to socialize, explore their sexuality, and engage in consensual sexual activities with other like-minded individuals.
Swinger ringer: According to Kat & Leo, the seasoned pro who knows the ropes and swings with style. The OGs of the Lifestyle.
Swinging: The thrilling adventure of swapping partners with other couples. It’s all about shared pleasure, mutual consent, and diving into new, exciting sexual escapades together.
Swap right: Another of Kat & Leo’s coined catchphrases. Like Tinder, but with a twist – swiping for play partners, swinging-style.
Swizzlers: Kat & Leo’s favorite saying! Like the straw that stirs the drink, just like Kat & Leo, these social butterflies of the swinging scene are the movers and shakers who add the extra fizz to every party, stirring up excitement wherever they go!
T
Taking one for the team: Graciously engaging with a partner you might not be particularly attracted to in order to ensure everyone in the group gets some action. It’s like being the MVP of the game, sacrificing your personal preferences for the greater good of the team’s pleasure!
Team sport: A metaphor often used within the swinging community to describe the collaborative and cooperative nature of group sexual activities between partners, where participants work together to enhance pleasure and satisfaction for all involved, often a key component to a successful swinging relationship.
3 for all: It’s a free for all, three for all! When three’s a crowd, it’s a crowd of pleasure for all involved.
Threesome: The perfect recipe for a steamy night, where three’s never a crowd and every touch sends shivers down your spine. This sexual encounter involves three individuals, often characterized by various combinations of sexual activities and dynamics between participants.
Trimix: The secret sauce for an unforgettable performance, ensuring that when the lights go down, you’re ready to rise to the occasion. This medication is used to treat erectile dysfunction, containing a combination of three different drugs (usually alprostadil, papaverine, and phentolamine) administered via injection directly into the base of the penis. Eek!
U
Unicorn: The mythical and elusive gem of the swinging world, a single female who is open to participating in sexual activities with both members of a couple, often considered rare and highly sought after.
Unicorn hunting: The thrilling quest in the swinging world where couples seek that rare and elusive single woman to join their sensual adventures, like chasing rainbows for a pot of steamy gold! While enticing, it’s viewed as distasteful in the swinging lifestyle, as couples often try to wife-poach and lure the female half of a couple since unicorns are hard to find.
Upside down pineapple: The secret signal that whispers “we swing” without saying a word, turning every gathering into a tantalizing adventure. Leo & Kat’s signature move at every supermarket: flipping a pineapple upside down in the produce aisle, sparking whispers and winks from fellow shoppers.
V
Validations: Positive feedback or affirmations received within the swinging community on online apps, often indicating approval or acceptance from peers or partners regarding one’s behavior, appearance, or performance.
Vanilla: The flavor of love that’s sweet but oh-so-basic. Within the swinging community it describes individuals or activities that are conventional, traditional, or non-kinky in nature, often contrasting with the more adventurous or non-monogamous aspects of swinging.
Verification: The crucial step in the dance of desire, ensuring that every player in the game is who they say they are and ready to play by the rules. The online app process of confirming the identity, authenticity, or intentions of individuals or couples within the swinging community, through references or dated photos.
Vetting: The art of separating the players from the pretenders, because in the world of swinging, trust is everything. The practice of evaluating or assessing potential partners or participants within the swinging community, typically to ensure compatibility, safety, and mutual respect before engaging in sexual activities.
Viagra: The magic blue pill that knows no age discrimination will turn every night into a marathon of pleasure, ensuring that when it comes to passion, you’re always ready for round two. This medication commonly treats erectile dysfunction by increasing blood flow to the penis, enabling individuals to achieve and maintain erections suitable for sexual activity.
Voyeurism: The art of peeking behind closed doors, where watching becomes the sexiest form of foreplay. A practice in which individuals derive sexual pleasure from observing others engaging in intimate activities.
W
Wanking dead: Single males at a dimly lit sex club, shuffling around with erections out, aimlessly stroking like zombies in a lust-filled apocalypse.
Well-endowed: Blessed in all the right places, because when it comes to pleasure, if size matters, these men have got plenty to spare!
Wife poacher: The deceptive game of seduction in the swinging world, where a couple tries to lure the female half of another duo into a steamy rendezvous with flattery, often without the other guy’s clue. Viewed with distaste, it violates the fundamental principles of trust, consent, and mutual respect among partners.
Wingman: The partner in crime who’s always got your back, whether you’re wooing a new playmate or diving headfirst into a night of passion.
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
